Fire Play and What It Means To Me

February 5, 2013 at 00:54 (BDSM) (, , , , , )


Flames Rising from the Egg Cup 2

Fire is a living thing with a life and personality of its own.  It warms and transforms, but it also consumes and destroys.  Some of my best memories come from sitting around a bonfire or in front of a fireplace, but fire has a way of drawing out fears and passions at the same time.

The first time Angelflare brought up fire play I panicked.  I’ve always been very sensitive to heat and fire, and I had spent a lot of my life avoiding it, not asking someone to touch me with it.  Our first experience was rough, but something inside me was awakened.  I hated it, but I wanted more, so we kept at it.  Today it’s one of my favourite activities in and out of the dungeon.

First of all, the physical sensation of a fire massage and cupping is fantastic.  It’s warm and tingly, and it helps a lot of the muscle problems I face with fibromyalgia.  Feeling the rush of fire and hands flowing over me, the warm hand on fresh, cold skin and the soothing touch of a cold hand on just fired skin, is something that cannot be replicated.

Next there’s a mental and emotional aspect for me.  I still get a feeling of trepidation before we begin, so every session I am forced to face that fear and overcome it.  I give up control and trust Angelflare not to hurt me, and I have learned to ride the play instead of bracing for each new touch.  From there it becomes a very intimate exchange between us.

Fire play has helped me learn to embrace and control my inner fire.  Once I learned not to fear the flames or let them have power over me I was able to stop the irrational flames inside me from consuming me.  There is a warm calm within the fire, but it takes waking through it in the first place.

Then there’s the spiritual side of fire play, which is very strong for me.  Not only does the scene become a very strong exchange of energy and passion between me and Angelflare, but it helps me connect with the element of fire and my patron deity, Brighid in a way that I had not found before fire play.  The physical fire speaks to the fire within me, and quite a few times our fire sessions have become spontaneous meditation for me.  This past weekend our session turned into an impromptu Imbolc celebration and re-dedication to Brighid.  It was probably the most powerful inner ritual I’ve ever done, and it was amazing.

Fire play has taught me not to fear new things, but to embrace them.  I love watching how passionate Angelflare gets no matter who he’s cupping or firing, and I love watching the transformation on the other end of his wands, especially if it’s her first time.  He’s still finding new sensations to give me, and my last session was done by two people at once, which was unbelievable.  I can’t wait to see what he comes up with next.  Until then I will dream in fire.

 

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