On Being a Switch: Picking a Side

March 6, 2013 at 21:15 (M/S) (, , , , , , , , , , , )


When Angelflare and I met we were both Switches.  Don’t get me wrong, we still are, but we have chosen to live as a 24/7 M/s couple.  Because of this, we no longer switch with each other.  While I love the way our marriage has grown and strengthened as a result of our M/s, I also feel like a part of who we were is gone. I used to love that we could explore with each other on both sides of the whip, and at this time it is not a part of our relationship.

Bring in Angelflare’s girlfriend, A, who is a Dominant, and a deep part of myself that I had pushed down when we decided to take on a 24/7 relationship is awakened.  It’s hard for me to suppress feelings of loss and regret.  I miss who we were.  I miss how free we used to be with each other, and

Pulling

sometimes I feel like there are so many rules and so many compartments we’ve built for our relationship that I start to feel stifled and cornered.

This is an issue I did not foresee when we changed our arrangement, and one of the few places where I still find myself holding a lot of jealousy and resentment.  There are very few things that are unique to our relationship, but now there’s this significant one that is unique to theirs, one I really enjoyed and miss very much.  Not that I’ve pinpointed it I can begin to work through it, but it’s going to take some work, and maybe someday we can work out an arrangement that fulfills that desire in me again.

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